Iz ME!!!!

Hi, me Max here.
Iz been on da internetz an made new frenz on Horsetalk forum. There is Kody an Fari an Mz Molly an Lacey an lotz of cool horsz.
I tellz everywun how dum my Mum iz. Yip, they havz the same problum. How do you get them to just give you lotz of food and leave you in peace? And now Mum sez we gotta do dress sarj. What the??? The Old Grey Mare sez she was a dress sarj horse and she went to HorseoftheYear before she got hurt and retired. And she can do walk to canter and sidewayz stuff, and I have truble wif straight lines when Mum is riding me.

Man, I iz worried about this!
AND she keepz makin me go in the moving box!!! That is REALLY scarey and I shakez and sweatz coz of all the noise and fings going whizz past. Last time the Old Grey Mare was wif me, and that wuz better coz she said don't be stupid, nofing is gonna get ya. Just eat the hay and wait. And she was right! We stopped, and we wuz home again!

I don't undastand humans.