From the horse's mouth

Huhhi! It's Max myself here. The short woman is completely ignoring me at the moment, and I haven't even seen her for nearly a week. Really, it's not good enough.

I have been getting used to seeing her all the time, and have done a pretty good job of training her not to come empty-handed. She is a bit thick really, but if I make it really obvious she will sometimes figure out what I am trying to tell her. It took a bit of standing on her feet, but I have got her to bring me carrots, apples and sweetcorn, all of which are pretty tasty. Luckily for me those other horses in the paddock are snobby "Warnblud" types and they don't like the corn and so I get to eat ALL of it! Yummy.

I don't know what them other horses are going on about when they tell me they are well-bred. I dunno what "Warnblud" means, except everyone should be warned about that big black one. Man, he is mean! Here I am, just minding my own business, and WHAM! he gallops at me with his ears back. All I did was look at the Grey Mare and wonder if she would be my friend today.

And then I just walked over to see if anyone would like to share a hay pile with me. It gets a bit lonely somedays, standing there eating on your own. I just think it would be great if we could share a bit of hay and have a bit of a talk about stuff, but nobody here will join in. No, says the Grey Mare, you're an annoying little common-bred short-arse horse. NO! says Busta the Black One. She is my friend and so you are not my friend. Chomp. No, says Rusty the Red One. My tummy hurts, and I feel icky, and I want my Mum to make it better and just go away!
So I'm reduced to trying to get some sense out of that dumb pet lamb. And people say I'm not the brightest - you should meet this bimbo!

I hope the woman comes to visit me soon. I would even be good for her up the road and try not to see the scarey monsters behind the trees. I kind of miss her.
And 'specially the carrots.